[EDITOR'S NOTE: Patrick Walsh is a Princeton, New Jersey, based baseball writer, enthusiast, and historian, who's work has been published the world over in publications like the CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR, BARROW STREET, and the HUDSON REVIEW, among others. He is also a life-long runner that has run dozens of marathons, including nine consecutive Boston Marathons dating back to 2002. His work will be featured here from time to time. You can find his work on his website, which is linked here. This work is reprinted with Patrick's kind permission.]
Catholic Church Considers Beatifying Steinbrenner
VATICAN, ROME: In somewhat unusual circumstances, the Catholic Church, under pressure from its dioceses in the greater New York area, is considering beatifying the late George Steinbrenner, deceased owner of the New York Yankees. Beatification is the first step in canonization, or the process of making a person a saint.
Father Federico Esposito, a Vatican spokesman, said, "It's unbelievable how many petitions and requests we've received from Yankees fans, especially from your states of New York, New Jersey, and Florida. All the supplicants say that Mr. Steinbrenner was such a great man for making their team a winner after spending so much time in Purgatory."
If Steinbrenner is beatified, he will be under the gun to be responsible for three verifiable miracles. Vatican spokesman Esposito has already stated that so-called miraculous comebacks, including wild-card runs and walk-off home runs will not be considered attributable to "The Boss."
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Great Moments in the Life of The Boss: #17, the Smoke-filled Room, 1985
Picture the scene: all 26 Major League owners as well as the two league presidents and the commissioner are sitting around a big table, cigars firmly lodged in their well-jowled jaws. The topic is collusion.
The owners, infuriated with having to pay market prices for talent since 1974, have decided to put an end to free agency. They're going to form a conspiracy whereby all parties agree that when a player becomes eligible for free-agency, no one will buy his services; said player will have to go back to his original team and settle for what they offer him. All the owners clamor for the good-old, parsimonious days of the reserve clause, when things were done properly and players were the property and chattel of the clubs that owned them. All the owners salivate at the idea of making Baseball a plantation system again. All but one, that is: George Steinbrenner....
Cardinals owner, August Busch: "Damn it, George, the Cardinals are the Yankees of the National League! We know what it means to win a World Series too, you know. But we can't let these players and that pinko labor lawyer Miller tell us what to do. You've got to go along!”
Steinbrenner: "Why should me and my Yankees suffer just because you guys are a bunch of skinflints?"
Brewers owner, Bud Selig: "George, I'm just a used cars salesman from Wisconsin, I don't have those deep pockets that you got."
Phillies owner, Bill Giles: "Yeah George, we can't all eat at Delmonico's with silver spoons and finger bowls. You think I like having to pass on the talent? My team's won one--just one--World Series in its entire history."
Steinbrenner: "How is that my fault, Bill? Heck, you just won the Series 5 years ago. You should be happy now. That's enough for a second-rate city like Philly."
[A tussle threatens.]
Commissioner Peter Ueberroth: "Order! Order I say!"
[Order is restored.]
Commissioner Peter Ueberroth: "Now gentlemen, this item on the agenda can't be passed by a simple majority. Each and every one of you must agree to refuse to buy anyone's free agent when that player becomes available. We all have to agree to it in order to break the backs of the labor union. That includes you, George, and your Yankees."
Steinbrenner: "Alright, I'll agree, but I do so under protest! Who ever heard of the most capitalist of organizations--Major League Baseball--refusing to follow the dictates of a free market?"
Commissioner Peter Ueberroth: "Be that as it may, we all agree. Now, don't breathe a word of what’s been said in this room to anyone. Ever!"
[Cigars are extinguished. Collusion begins.]
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George Steinbrenner: The Legacy That Might Have Been
Most of you are too young or too flush with recent Yankees triumphs to remember when George Steinbrenner was a villain and his team a losing concern. Well, it was a period from 1979 to 1995. A fairly long time to hold your breath, bugs. True, the Yankees went to the Series in 1981, but Mike Scioscia--ever the Yankee spoiler--and the Dodgers beat them in 6. Thereafter, the Yankees simply stunk for over a decade, despite all the king's horses and all the king's Benjamins.
The 1980s is the only decade the Yankees didn't win a World Series. Why? Quite simple: George Steinbrenner. Here's a man who took a championship franchise and methodically banjaxed it through impatience, meddling, and overbearing boorishness. Granted, it must've pained his spendthrift heart to go along with all the other owners in collusion from 1985 to 1987. But what about those other years that Steinbrenner let his wealth flow with reckless abandon, scooping up one high-priced mercenary after another? The answer: nada.
Only when the Yankees abandoned the quick-fix, throw-money-at-it approach and returned to fielding the core of the team from their farm system, i.e. Jeter, Rivera, Pettitte, Posada, and Bernie Williams, did they return to the World Series and craft a dynasty.
So after the teary-eyed encomiums and nostalgic tributes are over, maybe some Yankees fans will have an annoying question gnawing at them: how many titles could we have won?
Well, it's quite possible that the Yankees might've won 10, 12, maybe even 15 World Series in the same span as King George's reign if a different owner with the same money, less bombast, and more baseball sense had been running the Empire.
Or if The Boss had agreed to have his ego lobotomized.
PDW
Monday, July 19, 2010
News and Comment--Monday, July 19, 2010
OUR TOP LOCAL STORY IN LAFAYETTE TODAY: The Rally for Economic Survival is still two days away, but it is already causing a stir in Lafayette. This morning, a sign promoting the event located at the corner of Coolidge and St. Mary was found to have been vandalized over the weekend. The vandals wrote in red spray paint "Fuck Big Oil!" and "Unfuck the Gulf." There are no reports of vandalism of other rally signs. The rally, which "hopes to send a message to the Obama Administration to lift the [deepwater drilling] moratorium immediately," will be held Wednesday from 10:30 A.M. until 1:00 P.M. at the Cajundome. Country musician and lieutenant gubernatorial candidate Sammy Kershaw will open and close the rally with a performance. Governor Bobby Jindal, Lieutenant Governor Scott Angelle, and Plaquemines Parish President Billy Nungesser are all slated to speak at the event, as are representatives of Louisiana's seafood, restaurant, and energy industries. The full agenda can be found here. A counter-protest will be held outside of the Cajundome by those in support of the moratorium. I will be at both events and will have a full report later in the week.
COMMENTARY: I understand that the issues of deepwater drilling and the moratorium are the cause of a great deal of tension in Acadiana right now, but for Pete's sake, vandalizing signs and hurling obscenities at those that disagree with you are not routes to take in having a civil discourse about the issue. The people guilty of these acts (in particular, the vandalism of the Oil Center sign) are what's wrong with American political discourse--and, dare I say, with America--today. I hope that the people responsible for the destruction of the sign are caught and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
I will withhold comment about the rally itself until I see what happens on Wednesday. If you judge the event based on its cover (and some of its speakers), it has all of the makings of a Republican/Tea Party/"conservative business platform" rally. Furthermore, I heard rumors that the organizers of the event (which, based on the phone number listed on the rally's website, seem to be based in Baton Rouge) are busing in attendees from Texas. If this is true, it would destroy (for me, anyway) any feeling of a grass-roots protest that I thought this rally would have. We won't know for certain how it will all turn out until Wednesday, so I'll take everything at face value and report back to you on Wednesday.
I also must wonder why the organizers didn't hold the event in Baton Rouge or New Orleans--sites that would have offered a better opportunity for them to attract national media attention. Lafayette is a good fit based on the city's continuing ties to and dependence on the oil industry. Furthermore, I'm not going to complain about an event that attracts thousands of attendees and protesters because that means more tax revenue for the city and the parish. Out-of-towners will need to eat and buy gas, and they might even be tempted to purchase souvenirs from one of the many shops and stores in town. So, thank you to the rally's organizers for choosing Lafayette. We appreciate your business.
IN OTHER NEWS: KLFY-TV has hired two new reporters. Sean Maginnis and Alissa Reitmeier join Lafayette's oldest television station, replacing Robert Burns and Sarah Forgany. We at RAoA wish them the best of luck with their new endeavors.
FROM THE "SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT DAY" FILE: The Associated Press is reporting that the federal government is allowing BP to keep the oil well capped for another twenty-four hours. Yesterday, retired Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen announced that a seep had been detected a distance away from the well.
AND FINALLY: Another Idiot of the Month nominee. Dateline: Aventura, Florida. 64-year old Armand M. Pacher was arrested after police received a tip from a veterinarian that the retired insurance executive was having sex with his dog--a great dane he had named "Christie Brinkley." That's right, folks. He named the dog after the famed supermodel and was have intercourse with it. So, I guess we can say that he really "screwed the pooch." The full story can be found here.
That's the news. I'm Ian Auzenne. Make it a great day, everybody.
COMMENTARY: I understand that the issues of deepwater drilling and the moratorium are the cause of a great deal of tension in Acadiana right now, but for Pete's sake, vandalizing signs and hurling obscenities at those that disagree with you are not routes to take in having a civil discourse about the issue. The people guilty of these acts (in particular, the vandalism of the Oil Center sign) are what's wrong with American political discourse--and, dare I say, with America--today. I hope that the people responsible for the destruction of the sign are caught and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
I will withhold comment about the rally itself until I see what happens on Wednesday. If you judge the event based on its cover (and some of its speakers), it has all of the makings of a Republican/Tea Party/"conservative business platform" rally. Furthermore, I heard rumors that the organizers of the event (which, based on the phone number listed on the rally's website, seem to be based in Baton Rouge) are busing in attendees from Texas. If this is true, it would destroy (for me, anyway) any feeling of a grass-roots protest that I thought this rally would have. We won't know for certain how it will all turn out until Wednesday, so I'll take everything at face value and report back to you on Wednesday.
I also must wonder why the organizers didn't hold the event in Baton Rouge or New Orleans--sites that would have offered a better opportunity for them to attract national media attention. Lafayette is a good fit based on the city's continuing ties to and dependence on the oil industry. Furthermore, I'm not going to complain about an event that attracts thousands of attendees and protesters because that means more tax revenue for the city and the parish. Out-of-towners will need to eat and buy gas, and they might even be tempted to purchase souvenirs from one of the many shops and stores in town. So, thank you to the rally's organizers for choosing Lafayette. We appreciate your business.
IN OTHER NEWS: KLFY-TV has hired two new reporters. Sean Maginnis and Alissa Reitmeier join Lafayette's oldest television station, replacing Robert Burns and Sarah Forgany. We at RAoA wish them the best of luck with their new endeavors.
FROM THE "SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT DAY" FILE: The Associated Press is reporting that the federal government is allowing BP to keep the oil well capped for another twenty-four hours. Yesterday, retired Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen announced that a seep had been detected a distance away from the well.
AND FINALLY: Another Idiot of the Month nominee. Dateline: Aventura, Florida. 64-year old Armand M. Pacher was arrested after police received a tip from a veterinarian that the retired insurance executive was having sex with his dog--a great dane he had named "Christie Brinkley." That's right, folks. He named the dog after the famed supermodel and was have intercourse with it. So, I guess we can say that he really "screwed the pooch." The full story can be found here.
That's the news. I'm Ian Auzenne. Make it a great day, everybody.
RETURN FROM EXILE: PART II
We're back up and running after a two-week vacation. My apologies for not posting during that time, but softball and a sinus infection would not allow me the chance to post during the last twelve days. More posts coming in the next few minutes, so stand by.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
MELANCON KICKS OF CAMPAIGN IN HUB CITY
United States Representative Charles Melancon (D-Napoleonville) began his United States Senate campaign today in Lafayette. Melancon was greeted by a crowd of supporters and media at 11:55 this morning at Country Cuisine Restaurant on University Avenue, just a couple of hours after qualifying for the race
After meeting and speaking with those in the restaurant for almost thirty minutes, Melancon was formally introduced to the patrons by Lafayette City-Parish Councilman Kenneth Boudreaux. Flanked by his wife, Peachy, Melancon told the crowd that he "felt at home in Lafayette" before joking about his years as an undergraduate at what was then the University of Southwestern Louisiana. Melancon also mentioned his pride for the region and its culture, as his father was a native of St. Martinville. Melancon then told his audience that his decision to run was a difficult one, but that he is running to give the state a senator that puts the state's matters before party politics. "This race is not about ambition," Melancon told his supporters. "This is about Louisiana."
Melancon also critiqued his opponent, Senator David Vitter, saying that the incumbent "put politics first" during his term. "David Vitter does not know how to work with people," Melancon stated. Melancon pledged to work "twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week" to meet with people, to work with his fellow senators, and to work across party lines in order to "put Louisiana first" during his term. He said that he would work towards building relationships with fellow lawmakers, citing Russell Long, J. Bennett Johnston, John Breaux, and Mary Landrieu as examples of effective alliance builders that worked in favor of the state.
When asked if he would spend money to attack Vitter's message or remind voters of Vitter's prostitution scandal, Melancon said that he has "no need to spend money" to combat the "lies" Vitter has put forth--such as that Melancon supported health care reform or the moratorium on deep-water offshore drilling--because he "is on the offensive" in this campaign. Melancon urges voters to look at his record, as they will learn what his platform truly is.
Susannah Malbreaux, chairman of the Lafayette Parish Democratic Executive Committee, was in charge of bringing Melancon to Acadiana. "It gives people the opportunity to talk one-on-one with [Melancon] and to ask him questions," Malbreaux said. Malbreaux also expects Melancon to make further visits to Lafayette during the campaign season.
Several local politicians and community activists were in attendance at today's meet-and-greet. Former city-parish councilman Chris Williams, congressional candidate Mike Stagg, and former Lafayette NAACP president Joe Dennis, among others, attended today's event. Former United States Attorney Mike Skinner was also there to support Melancon. "Charlie is a good friend of mine, and he would make a great senator," said Skinner, who is also a former chairman of the Louisiana Democratic Party.
Melancon's campaign tour continues through the remainder of the week, as he travels to Shreveport and Monroe on Thursday and to Lake Charles and New Orleans on Friday.
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OTHER ELECTION NEWS
David Vitter also visited the Hub City today after qualifying. He met with his supporters at Lafayette Regional Airport shortly before noon today. However, this reporter could not get comment from him as the gathering had ended by the time he arrived at the airport. A security guard informed me that I had missed the event by a few minutes. This was confirmed by several of Vitter's staffers walking out of the building with signs and flyers that had not been distributed.
Lafayette's INDEPENDENT WEEKLY is reporting that Cajundome director Greg Davis has qualified to run for the District 2 seat on the Lafayette Parish School Board that is being vacated by longtime board member Carl LaCombe.
After meeting and speaking with those in the restaurant for almost thirty minutes, Melancon was formally introduced to the patrons by Lafayette City-Parish Councilman Kenneth Boudreaux. Flanked by his wife, Peachy, Melancon told the crowd that he "felt at home in Lafayette" before joking about his years as an undergraduate at what was then the University of Southwestern Louisiana. Melancon also mentioned his pride for the region and its culture, as his father was a native of St. Martinville. Melancon then told his audience that his decision to run was a difficult one, but that he is running to give the state a senator that puts the state's matters before party politics. "This race is not about ambition," Melancon told his supporters. "This is about Louisiana."
Melancon also critiqued his opponent, Senator David Vitter, saying that the incumbent "put politics first" during his term. "David Vitter does not know how to work with people," Melancon stated. Melancon pledged to work "twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week" to meet with people, to work with his fellow senators, and to work across party lines in order to "put Louisiana first" during his term. He said that he would work towards building relationships with fellow lawmakers, citing Russell Long, J. Bennett Johnston, John Breaux, and Mary Landrieu as examples of effective alliance builders that worked in favor of the state.
When asked if he would spend money to attack Vitter's message or remind voters of Vitter's prostitution scandal, Melancon said that he has "no need to spend money" to combat the "lies" Vitter has put forth--such as that Melancon supported health care reform or the moratorium on deep-water offshore drilling--because he "is on the offensive" in this campaign. Melancon urges voters to look at his record, as they will learn what his platform truly is.
Susannah Malbreaux, chairman of the Lafayette Parish Democratic Executive Committee, was in charge of bringing Melancon to Acadiana. "It gives people the opportunity to talk one-on-one with [Melancon] and to ask him questions," Malbreaux said. Malbreaux also expects Melancon to make further visits to Lafayette during the campaign season.
Several local politicians and community activists were in attendance at today's meet-and-greet. Former city-parish councilman Chris Williams, congressional candidate Mike Stagg, and former Lafayette NAACP president Joe Dennis, among others, attended today's event. Former United States Attorney Mike Skinner was also there to support Melancon. "Charlie is a good friend of mine, and he would make a great senator," said Skinner, who is also a former chairman of the Louisiana Democratic Party.
Melancon's campaign tour continues through the remainder of the week, as he travels to Shreveport and Monroe on Thursday and to Lake Charles and New Orleans on Friday.
-----------
OTHER ELECTION NEWS
David Vitter also visited the Hub City today after qualifying. He met with his supporters at Lafayette Regional Airport shortly before noon today. However, this reporter could not get comment from him as the gathering had ended by the time he arrived at the airport. A security guard informed me that I had missed the event by a few minutes. This was confirmed by several of Vitter's staffers walking out of the building with signs and flyers that had not been distributed.
Lafayette's INDEPENDENT WEEKLY is reporting that Cajundome director Greg Davis has qualified to run for the District 2 seat on the Lafayette Parish School Board that is being vacated by longtime board member Carl LaCombe.
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