We're going to try this again. RANDOM ACTS OF AUZENNE is back online, and new posts will be added starting today.
This is starting to get old. As soon as I think I'm going to start blogging on a more consistent basis, I take a multi-month hiatus from this site. That said, I have a legitimate reason for not showing my face here over the last four months--I finally found work. The long employment journey began in August when I was hired to work at the Townsquare Media cluster in Lafayette. I started refereeing volleyball at around the same time, forcing me to drastically cut back on my umpiring schedule. Last month, KLFY called and hired me to produce their noon and weekend newscasts. I've been so tied up recently that I haven't had any time to write.
I also had to take another self-imposed exile after getting robbed at gunpoint a two months ago. That incident forced me to take a week off from 124 E. MAIN, which was something I'd never done in the three summers the program has been on the air. The self-imposed TV exile ended the next week. My exile from this blog ends today.
There is one big difference that you will see in this blog. We won't do breaking news. Now that I'm working for a TV news department, I will allow the reporters to do stories (read: I'm not giving any free scoops to the competition). I will continue to post media critiques (except for those that apply to my employer and its direct competition), political commentary, and weekly editions of RANDOM ACTS OF MUSIC: BLOG EDITION. Idiot of the Month nominations and awards will return in January, with the 2011 Idiot of the Year being declared in late December 2011 or early January 2012. Other random thoughts and musings will be posted here.
If you would like to be a guest columnist in this forum, let me know. Thanks for visiting, and we hope you continue to visit.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
A Tripartite Tribute to George Steinbrenner, by Patrick Walsh
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Patrick Walsh is a Princeton, New Jersey, based baseball writer, enthusiast, and historian, who's work has been published the world over in publications like the CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR, BARROW STREET, and the HUDSON REVIEW, among others. He is also a life-long runner that has run dozens of marathons, including nine consecutive Boston Marathons dating back to 2002. His work will be featured here from time to time. You can find his work on his website, which is linked here. This work is reprinted with Patrick's kind permission.]
Catholic Church Considers Beatifying Steinbrenner
VATICAN, ROME: In somewhat unusual circumstances, the Catholic Church, under pressure from its dioceses in the greater New York area, is considering beatifying the late George Steinbrenner, deceased owner of the New York Yankees. Beatification is the first step in canonization, or the process of making a person a saint.
Father Federico Esposito, a Vatican spokesman, said, "It's unbelievable how many petitions and requests we've received from Yankees fans, especially from your states of New York, New Jersey, and Florida. All the supplicants say that Mr. Steinbrenner was such a great man for making their team a winner after spending so much time in Purgatory."
If Steinbrenner is beatified, he will be under the gun to be responsible for three verifiable miracles. Vatican spokesman Esposito has already stated that so-called miraculous comebacks, including wild-card runs and walk-off home runs will not be considered attributable to "The Boss."
________________________________________________
Great Moments in the Life of The Boss: #17, the Smoke-filled Room, 1985
Picture the scene: all 26 Major League owners as well as the two league presidents and the commissioner are sitting around a big table, cigars firmly lodged in their well-jowled jaws. The topic is collusion.
The owners, infuriated with having to pay market prices for talent since 1974, have decided to put an end to free agency. They're going to form a conspiracy whereby all parties agree that when a player becomes eligible for free-agency, no one will buy his services; said player will have to go back to his original team and settle for what they offer him. All the owners clamor for the good-old, parsimonious days of the reserve clause, when things were done properly and players were the property and chattel of the clubs that owned them. All the owners salivate at the idea of making Baseball a plantation system again. All but one, that is: George Steinbrenner....
Cardinals owner, August Busch: "Damn it, George, the Cardinals are the Yankees of the National League! We know what it means to win a World Series too, you know. But we can't let these players and that pinko labor lawyer Miller tell us what to do. You've got to go along!”
Steinbrenner: "Why should me and my Yankees suffer just because you guys are a bunch of skinflints?"
Brewers owner, Bud Selig: "George, I'm just a used cars salesman from Wisconsin, I don't have those deep pockets that you got."
Phillies owner, Bill Giles: "Yeah George, we can't all eat at Delmonico's with silver spoons and finger bowls. You think I like having to pass on the talent? My team's won one--just one--World Series in its entire history."
Steinbrenner: "How is that my fault, Bill? Heck, you just won the Series 5 years ago. You should be happy now. That's enough for a second-rate city like Philly."
[A tussle threatens.]
Commissioner Peter Ueberroth: "Order! Order I say!"
[Order is restored.]
Commissioner Peter Ueberroth: "Now gentlemen, this item on the agenda can't be passed by a simple majority. Each and every one of you must agree to refuse to buy anyone's free agent when that player becomes available. We all have to agree to it in order to break the backs of the labor union. That includes you, George, and your Yankees."
Steinbrenner: "Alright, I'll agree, but I do so under protest! Who ever heard of the most capitalist of organizations--Major League Baseball--refusing to follow the dictates of a free market?"
Commissioner Peter Ueberroth: "Be that as it may, we all agree. Now, don't breathe a word of what’s been said in this room to anyone. Ever!"
[Cigars are extinguished. Collusion begins.]
________________________________________________
George Steinbrenner: The Legacy That Might Have Been
Most of you are too young or too flush with recent Yankees triumphs to remember when George Steinbrenner was a villain and his team a losing concern. Well, it was a period from 1979 to 1995. A fairly long time to hold your breath, bugs. True, the Yankees went to the Series in 1981, but Mike Scioscia--ever the Yankee spoiler--and the Dodgers beat them in 6. Thereafter, the Yankees simply stunk for over a decade, despite all the king's horses and all the king's Benjamins.
The 1980s is the only decade the Yankees didn't win a World Series. Why? Quite simple: George Steinbrenner. Here's a man who took a championship franchise and methodically banjaxed it through impatience, meddling, and overbearing boorishness. Granted, it must've pained his spendthrift heart to go along with all the other owners in collusion from 1985 to 1987. But what about those other years that Steinbrenner let his wealth flow with reckless abandon, scooping up one high-priced mercenary after another? The answer: nada.
Only when the Yankees abandoned the quick-fix, throw-money-at-it approach and returned to fielding the core of the team from their farm system, i.e. Jeter, Rivera, Pettitte, Posada, and Bernie Williams, did they return to the World Series and craft a dynasty.
So after the teary-eyed encomiums and nostalgic tributes are over, maybe some Yankees fans will have an annoying question gnawing at them: how many titles could we have won?
Well, it's quite possible that the Yankees might've won 10, 12, maybe even 15 World Series in the same span as King George's reign if a different owner with the same money, less bombast, and more baseball sense had been running the Empire.
Or if The Boss had agreed to have his ego lobotomized.
PDW
Catholic Church Considers Beatifying Steinbrenner
VATICAN, ROME: In somewhat unusual circumstances, the Catholic Church, under pressure from its dioceses in the greater New York area, is considering beatifying the late George Steinbrenner, deceased owner of the New York Yankees. Beatification is the first step in canonization, or the process of making a person a saint.
Father Federico Esposito, a Vatican spokesman, said, "It's unbelievable how many petitions and requests we've received from Yankees fans, especially from your states of New York, New Jersey, and Florida. All the supplicants say that Mr. Steinbrenner was such a great man for making their team a winner after spending so much time in Purgatory."
If Steinbrenner is beatified, he will be under the gun to be responsible for three verifiable miracles. Vatican spokesman Esposito has already stated that so-called miraculous comebacks, including wild-card runs and walk-off home runs will not be considered attributable to "The Boss."
________________________________________________
Great Moments in the Life of The Boss: #17, the Smoke-filled Room, 1985
Picture the scene: all 26 Major League owners as well as the two league presidents and the commissioner are sitting around a big table, cigars firmly lodged in their well-jowled jaws. The topic is collusion.
The owners, infuriated with having to pay market prices for talent since 1974, have decided to put an end to free agency. They're going to form a conspiracy whereby all parties agree that when a player becomes eligible for free-agency, no one will buy his services; said player will have to go back to his original team and settle for what they offer him. All the owners clamor for the good-old, parsimonious days of the reserve clause, when things were done properly and players were the property and chattel of the clubs that owned them. All the owners salivate at the idea of making Baseball a plantation system again. All but one, that is: George Steinbrenner....
Cardinals owner, August Busch: "Damn it, George, the Cardinals are the Yankees of the National League! We know what it means to win a World Series too, you know. But we can't let these players and that pinko labor lawyer Miller tell us what to do. You've got to go along!”
Steinbrenner: "Why should me and my Yankees suffer just because you guys are a bunch of skinflints?"
Brewers owner, Bud Selig: "George, I'm just a used cars salesman from Wisconsin, I don't have those deep pockets that you got."
Phillies owner, Bill Giles: "Yeah George, we can't all eat at Delmonico's with silver spoons and finger bowls. You think I like having to pass on the talent? My team's won one--just one--World Series in its entire history."
Steinbrenner: "How is that my fault, Bill? Heck, you just won the Series 5 years ago. You should be happy now. That's enough for a second-rate city like Philly."
[A tussle threatens.]
Commissioner Peter Ueberroth: "Order! Order I say!"
[Order is restored.]
Commissioner Peter Ueberroth: "Now gentlemen, this item on the agenda can't be passed by a simple majority. Each and every one of you must agree to refuse to buy anyone's free agent when that player becomes available. We all have to agree to it in order to break the backs of the labor union. That includes you, George, and your Yankees."
Steinbrenner: "Alright, I'll agree, but I do so under protest! Who ever heard of the most capitalist of organizations--Major League Baseball--refusing to follow the dictates of a free market?"
Commissioner Peter Ueberroth: "Be that as it may, we all agree. Now, don't breathe a word of what’s been said in this room to anyone. Ever!"
[Cigars are extinguished. Collusion begins.]
________________________________________________
George Steinbrenner: The Legacy That Might Have Been
Most of you are too young or too flush with recent Yankees triumphs to remember when George Steinbrenner was a villain and his team a losing concern. Well, it was a period from 1979 to 1995. A fairly long time to hold your breath, bugs. True, the Yankees went to the Series in 1981, but Mike Scioscia--ever the Yankee spoiler--and the Dodgers beat them in 6. Thereafter, the Yankees simply stunk for over a decade, despite all the king's horses and all the king's Benjamins.
The 1980s is the only decade the Yankees didn't win a World Series. Why? Quite simple: George Steinbrenner. Here's a man who took a championship franchise and methodically banjaxed it through impatience, meddling, and overbearing boorishness. Granted, it must've pained his spendthrift heart to go along with all the other owners in collusion from 1985 to 1987. But what about those other years that Steinbrenner let his wealth flow with reckless abandon, scooping up one high-priced mercenary after another? The answer: nada.
Only when the Yankees abandoned the quick-fix, throw-money-at-it approach and returned to fielding the core of the team from their farm system, i.e. Jeter, Rivera, Pettitte, Posada, and Bernie Williams, did they return to the World Series and craft a dynasty.
So after the teary-eyed encomiums and nostalgic tributes are over, maybe some Yankees fans will have an annoying question gnawing at them: how many titles could we have won?
Well, it's quite possible that the Yankees might've won 10, 12, maybe even 15 World Series in the same span as King George's reign if a different owner with the same money, less bombast, and more baseball sense had been running the Empire.
Or if The Boss had agreed to have his ego lobotomized.
PDW
News and Comment--Monday, July 19, 2010
OUR TOP LOCAL STORY IN LAFAYETTE TODAY: The Rally for Economic Survival is still two days away, but it is already causing a stir in Lafayette. This morning, a sign promoting the event located at the corner of Coolidge and St. Mary was found to have been vandalized over the weekend. The vandals wrote in red spray paint "Fuck Big Oil!" and "Unfuck the Gulf." There are no reports of vandalism of other rally signs. The rally, which "hopes to send a message to the Obama Administration to lift the [deepwater drilling] moratorium immediately," will be held Wednesday from 10:30 A.M. until 1:00 P.M. at the Cajundome. Country musician and lieutenant gubernatorial candidate Sammy Kershaw will open and close the rally with a performance. Governor Bobby Jindal, Lieutenant Governor Scott Angelle, and Plaquemines Parish President Billy Nungesser are all slated to speak at the event, as are representatives of Louisiana's seafood, restaurant, and energy industries. The full agenda can be found here. A counter-protest will be held outside of the Cajundome by those in support of the moratorium. I will be at both events and will have a full report later in the week.
COMMENTARY: I understand that the issues of deepwater drilling and the moratorium are the cause of a great deal of tension in Acadiana right now, but for Pete's sake, vandalizing signs and hurling obscenities at those that disagree with you are not routes to take in having a civil discourse about the issue. The people guilty of these acts (in particular, the vandalism of the Oil Center sign) are what's wrong with American political discourse--and, dare I say, with America--today. I hope that the people responsible for the destruction of the sign are caught and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
I will withhold comment about the rally itself until I see what happens on Wednesday. If you judge the event based on its cover (and some of its speakers), it has all of the makings of a Republican/Tea Party/"conservative business platform" rally. Furthermore, I heard rumors that the organizers of the event (which, based on the phone number listed on the rally's website, seem to be based in Baton Rouge) are busing in attendees from Texas. If this is true, it would destroy (for me, anyway) any feeling of a grass-roots protest that I thought this rally would have. We won't know for certain how it will all turn out until Wednesday, so I'll take everything at face value and report back to you on Wednesday.
I also must wonder why the organizers didn't hold the event in Baton Rouge or New Orleans--sites that would have offered a better opportunity for them to attract national media attention. Lafayette is a good fit based on the city's continuing ties to and dependence on the oil industry. Furthermore, I'm not going to complain about an event that attracts thousands of attendees and protesters because that means more tax revenue for the city and the parish. Out-of-towners will need to eat and buy gas, and they might even be tempted to purchase souvenirs from one of the many shops and stores in town. So, thank you to the rally's organizers for choosing Lafayette. We appreciate your business.
IN OTHER NEWS: KLFY-TV has hired two new reporters. Sean Maginnis and Alissa Reitmeier join Lafayette's oldest television station, replacing Robert Burns and Sarah Forgany. We at RAoA wish them the best of luck with their new endeavors.
FROM THE "SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT DAY" FILE: The Associated Press is reporting that the federal government is allowing BP to keep the oil well capped for another twenty-four hours. Yesterday, retired Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen announced that a seep had been detected a distance away from the well.
AND FINALLY: Another Idiot of the Month nominee. Dateline: Aventura, Florida. 64-year old Armand M. Pacher was arrested after police received a tip from a veterinarian that the retired insurance executive was having sex with his dog--a great dane he had named "Christie Brinkley." That's right, folks. He named the dog after the famed supermodel and was have intercourse with it. So, I guess we can say that he really "screwed the pooch." The full story can be found here.
That's the news. I'm Ian Auzenne. Make it a great day, everybody.
COMMENTARY: I understand that the issues of deepwater drilling and the moratorium are the cause of a great deal of tension in Acadiana right now, but for Pete's sake, vandalizing signs and hurling obscenities at those that disagree with you are not routes to take in having a civil discourse about the issue. The people guilty of these acts (in particular, the vandalism of the Oil Center sign) are what's wrong with American political discourse--and, dare I say, with America--today. I hope that the people responsible for the destruction of the sign are caught and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
I will withhold comment about the rally itself until I see what happens on Wednesday. If you judge the event based on its cover (and some of its speakers), it has all of the makings of a Republican/Tea Party/"conservative business platform" rally. Furthermore, I heard rumors that the organizers of the event (which, based on the phone number listed on the rally's website, seem to be based in Baton Rouge) are busing in attendees from Texas. If this is true, it would destroy (for me, anyway) any feeling of a grass-roots protest that I thought this rally would have. We won't know for certain how it will all turn out until Wednesday, so I'll take everything at face value and report back to you on Wednesday.
I also must wonder why the organizers didn't hold the event in Baton Rouge or New Orleans--sites that would have offered a better opportunity for them to attract national media attention. Lafayette is a good fit based on the city's continuing ties to and dependence on the oil industry. Furthermore, I'm not going to complain about an event that attracts thousands of attendees and protesters because that means more tax revenue for the city and the parish. Out-of-towners will need to eat and buy gas, and they might even be tempted to purchase souvenirs from one of the many shops and stores in town. So, thank you to the rally's organizers for choosing Lafayette. We appreciate your business.
IN OTHER NEWS: KLFY-TV has hired two new reporters. Sean Maginnis and Alissa Reitmeier join Lafayette's oldest television station, replacing Robert Burns and Sarah Forgany. We at RAoA wish them the best of luck with their new endeavors.
FROM THE "SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT DAY" FILE: The Associated Press is reporting that the federal government is allowing BP to keep the oil well capped for another twenty-four hours. Yesterday, retired Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen announced that a seep had been detected a distance away from the well.
AND FINALLY: Another Idiot of the Month nominee. Dateline: Aventura, Florida. 64-year old Armand M. Pacher was arrested after police received a tip from a veterinarian that the retired insurance executive was having sex with his dog--a great dane he had named "Christie Brinkley." That's right, folks. He named the dog after the famed supermodel and was have intercourse with it. So, I guess we can say that he really "screwed the pooch." The full story can be found here.
That's the news. I'm Ian Auzenne. Make it a great day, everybody.
RETURN FROM EXILE: PART II
We're back up and running after a two-week vacation. My apologies for not posting during that time, but softball and a sinus infection would not allow me the chance to post during the last twelve days. More posts coming in the next few minutes, so stand by.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
MELANCON KICKS OF CAMPAIGN IN HUB CITY
United States Representative Charles Melancon (D-Napoleonville) began his United States Senate campaign today in Lafayette. Melancon was greeted by a crowd of supporters and media at 11:55 this morning at Country Cuisine Restaurant on University Avenue, just a couple of hours after qualifying for the race
After meeting and speaking with those in the restaurant for almost thirty minutes, Melancon was formally introduced to the patrons by Lafayette City-Parish Councilman Kenneth Boudreaux. Flanked by his wife, Peachy, Melancon told the crowd that he "felt at home in Lafayette" before joking about his years as an undergraduate at what was then the University of Southwestern Louisiana. Melancon also mentioned his pride for the region and its culture, as his father was a native of St. Martinville. Melancon then told his audience that his decision to run was a difficult one, but that he is running to give the state a senator that puts the state's matters before party politics. "This race is not about ambition," Melancon told his supporters. "This is about Louisiana."
Melancon also critiqued his opponent, Senator David Vitter, saying that the incumbent "put politics first" during his term. "David Vitter does not know how to work with people," Melancon stated. Melancon pledged to work "twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week" to meet with people, to work with his fellow senators, and to work across party lines in order to "put Louisiana first" during his term. He said that he would work towards building relationships with fellow lawmakers, citing Russell Long, J. Bennett Johnston, John Breaux, and Mary Landrieu as examples of effective alliance builders that worked in favor of the state.
When asked if he would spend money to attack Vitter's message or remind voters of Vitter's prostitution scandal, Melancon said that he has "no need to spend money" to combat the "lies" Vitter has put forth--such as that Melancon supported health care reform or the moratorium on deep-water offshore drilling--because he "is on the offensive" in this campaign. Melancon urges voters to look at his record, as they will learn what his platform truly is.
Susannah Malbreaux, chairman of the Lafayette Parish Democratic Executive Committee, was in charge of bringing Melancon to Acadiana. "It gives people the opportunity to talk one-on-one with [Melancon] and to ask him questions," Malbreaux said. Malbreaux also expects Melancon to make further visits to Lafayette during the campaign season.
Several local politicians and community activists were in attendance at today's meet-and-greet. Former city-parish councilman Chris Williams, congressional candidate Mike Stagg, and former Lafayette NAACP president Joe Dennis, among others, attended today's event. Former United States Attorney Mike Skinner was also there to support Melancon. "Charlie is a good friend of mine, and he would make a great senator," said Skinner, who is also a former chairman of the Louisiana Democratic Party.
Melancon's campaign tour continues through the remainder of the week, as he travels to Shreveport and Monroe on Thursday and to Lake Charles and New Orleans on Friday.
-----------
OTHER ELECTION NEWS
David Vitter also visited the Hub City today after qualifying. He met with his supporters at Lafayette Regional Airport shortly before noon today. However, this reporter could not get comment from him as the gathering had ended by the time he arrived at the airport. A security guard informed me that I had missed the event by a few minutes. This was confirmed by several of Vitter's staffers walking out of the building with signs and flyers that had not been distributed.
Lafayette's INDEPENDENT WEEKLY is reporting that Cajundome director Greg Davis has qualified to run for the District 2 seat on the Lafayette Parish School Board that is being vacated by longtime board member Carl LaCombe.
After meeting and speaking with those in the restaurant for almost thirty minutes, Melancon was formally introduced to the patrons by Lafayette City-Parish Councilman Kenneth Boudreaux. Flanked by his wife, Peachy, Melancon told the crowd that he "felt at home in Lafayette" before joking about his years as an undergraduate at what was then the University of Southwestern Louisiana. Melancon also mentioned his pride for the region and its culture, as his father was a native of St. Martinville. Melancon then told his audience that his decision to run was a difficult one, but that he is running to give the state a senator that puts the state's matters before party politics. "This race is not about ambition," Melancon told his supporters. "This is about Louisiana."
Melancon also critiqued his opponent, Senator David Vitter, saying that the incumbent "put politics first" during his term. "David Vitter does not know how to work with people," Melancon stated. Melancon pledged to work "twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week" to meet with people, to work with his fellow senators, and to work across party lines in order to "put Louisiana first" during his term. He said that he would work towards building relationships with fellow lawmakers, citing Russell Long, J. Bennett Johnston, John Breaux, and Mary Landrieu as examples of effective alliance builders that worked in favor of the state.
When asked if he would spend money to attack Vitter's message or remind voters of Vitter's prostitution scandal, Melancon said that he has "no need to spend money" to combat the "lies" Vitter has put forth--such as that Melancon supported health care reform or the moratorium on deep-water offshore drilling--because he "is on the offensive" in this campaign. Melancon urges voters to look at his record, as they will learn what his platform truly is.
Susannah Malbreaux, chairman of the Lafayette Parish Democratic Executive Committee, was in charge of bringing Melancon to Acadiana. "It gives people the opportunity to talk one-on-one with [Melancon] and to ask him questions," Malbreaux said. Malbreaux also expects Melancon to make further visits to Lafayette during the campaign season.
Several local politicians and community activists were in attendance at today's meet-and-greet. Former city-parish councilman Chris Williams, congressional candidate Mike Stagg, and former Lafayette NAACP president Joe Dennis, among others, attended today's event. Former United States Attorney Mike Skinner was also there to support Melancon. "Charlie is a good friend of mine, and he would make a great senator," said Skinner, who is also a former chairman of the Louisiana Democratic Party.
Melancon's campaign tour continues through the remainder of the week, as he travels to Shreveport and Monroe on Thursday and to Lake Charles and New Orleans on Friday.
-----------
OTHER ELECTION NEWS
David Vitter also visited the Hub City today after qualifying. He met with his supporters at Lafayette Regional Airport shortly before noon today. However, this reporter could not get comment from him as the gathering had ended by the time he arrived at the airport. A security guard informed me that I had missed the event by a few minutes. This was confirmed by several of Vitter's staffers walking out of the building with signs and flyers that had not been distributed.
Lafayette's INDEPENDENT WEEKLY is reporting that Cajundome director Greg Davis has qualified to run for the District 2 seat on the Lafayette Parish School Board that is being vacated by longtime board member Carl LaCombe.
Friday, June 25, 2010
124 E. MAIN--Agenda for 6/26/10
Nick Mayon will be joining me on the air this week. The topics already on the board for this week are as follows:
--The FIFA World Cup™.
--The oil spill and the lifting of the drilling moratorium.
--One year later, Michael Jackson is still dead.
--The Wimbledon marathon match.
--Which politicians are most likely to lose in the upcoming congressional elections (a holdover from last week).
--Your phone calls (337-232-4434 ext. 207), your e-mails (124emain@gmail.com), and much more!
You can check out 124 E. MAIN tomorrow night and every Saturday night at 9:00 P.M. Central Time online at UStream and, for those of you in Acadiana, on the Acadiana Open Channel, channel 15 on Cox Cable and channel 3 on LUS Fiber.
--The FIFA World Cup™.
--The oil spill and the lifting of the drilling moratorium.
--One year later, Michael Jackson is still dead.
--The Wimbledon marathon match.
--Which politicians are most likely to lose in the upcoming congressional elections (a holdover from last week).
--Your phone calls (337-232-4434 ext. 207), your e-mails (124emain@gmail.com), and much more!
You can check out 124 E. MAIN tomorrow night and every Saturday night at 9:00 P.M. Central Time online at UStream and, for those of you in Acadiana, on the Acadiana Open Channel, channel 15 on Cox Cable and channel 3 on LUS Fiber.
Guilty Pleasures: The Maury Povich Show
[EDITOR'S NOTE: We had no mail in the inbox today (shamelessselfproductions@gmail.com), so we'll skip the mailbag segment.]
Since I've been back home, I've indulged in a guilty pleasure every morning. At 8:00 A. M. each day, I turn on the television and tune into KADN and watch another fine episode of MAURY. That's right, I lower my IQ a little every day by watching the unwash of society air their problems on nationally syndicated television. This morning, I finally realized why I engage in this ritual. I watch MAURY so when I think my life sucks, there is always someone else with bigger problems than me. After all, when you hear Maury Povich announce the magic words of "You are NOT the father," you thank the Good Lord above that you aren't the guy that got the paternity test, the woman trying to figure out which of her fifteen partners is the father of her child, or the baby that's caught in the middle of everything.
An hour after MAURY goes off the air in Lafayette, THE PRICE IS RIGHT signs on KLFY. Of course, THE PRICE IS RIGHT makes anything and everything better. As these YouTube clip shows, it can even make the MAURY show more entertaining.
On Monday, my thoughts on kiddie softball parents and supporters.
Since I've been back home, I've indulged in a guilty pleasure every morning. At 8:00 A. M. each day, I turn on the television and tune into KADN and watch another fine episode of MAURY. That's right, I lower my IQ a little every day by watching the unwash of society air their problems on nationally syndicated television. This morning, I finally realized why I engage in this ritual. I watch MAURY so when I think my life sucks, there is always someone else with bigger problems than me. After all, when you hear Maury Povich announce the magic words of "You are NOT the father," you thank the Good Lord above that you aren't the guy that got the paternity test, the woman trying to figure out which of her fifteen partners is the father of her child, or the baby that's caught in the middle of everything.
An hour after MAURY goes off the air in Lafayette, THE PRICE IS RIGHT signs on KLFY. Of course, THE PRICE IS RIGHT makes anything and everything better. As these YouTube clip shows, it can even make the MAURY show more entertaining.
On Monday, my thoughts on kiddie softball parents and supporters.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
RANDOM ACTS OF MUSIC: BLOG EDITION--Episode 1
(Editor's Note: Random Acts of Music: Blog Edition will be posted every Wednesday. It shall serve as an online continuation of the WPRB radio show of the same name.)
I was driving down Johnston Street in Lafayette today when I heard the Barenaked Ladies' song "One Week" playing on radio station KSMB. While listening to the song, I picked up on a couple of references in the track that I'd never noticed before. Before we go any farther, here is--for your reference--the Barenaked Ladies with "One Week."
The first reference I caught was one of Bert Kaempfert. Kaempfert, a German-born jazz musician, composer, and big band leader, wrote such numbers as "Strangers in the Night" and "Danke Schoen," which would become Wayne Newton's signature song. Kaempfert also composed our next song. It's a piece called "A Swingin' Safari," which older television viewers will recognize as the theme song to the original version of "The Match Game" that aired on NBC from 1962 until 1967. Here is Berthold Heinrich Kämpfert and his orchestra with "A Swingin' Safari" on RANDOM ACTS.
Bert Kaempfert and His Orchestra with "A Swingin' Safari."
"One Week" also makes reference to "[busting] rhymes" and being "big like LeAnne Rimes." Although Busta Rhymes isn't explicitly mentioned, the lyric, when rapped, sounds as if the rapper's name got dropped. It also gives me a cheap excuse to play hip-hop and country songs back-to-back. Without further adieu, here are Busta Rhymes and LeAnne Rimes on RAoM.
LeAnne Rimes with her debut single, "Blue," which cracked the Billboard Country Top Ten in 1996. Just before that was Busta Rhymes with his Grammy nominated song "Dangerous," which was released in the fall of 1997 and peaked at #9 on the Billboard Hot 100. Let's see THOSE two get together to perform a duet.
The last musician namedrop that I never caught until today was that of Sting. Not to be confused with the professional wrestler of the same name, Sting, born Gordon Sumner, found a great deal of success after the breakup of the Police. In 1994, he won a Grammy Award for Best Male Pop Vocal Performance with our next track. From the 1993 album Ten Summoner's Tales, here is Sting with "If I Ever Lose My Faith in You" on RANDOM ACTS OF MUSIC.
From 1993, that was Sting with "If I Ever Lose My Faith in You," which topped the Billboard Hot 100 at #17.
That will do it for this week's edition of RANDOM ACTS OF MUSIC. The moral of this week's episode is: Pay attention to the lyrics of the songs you hear on the radio. You may hear something that you never noticed before. Thanks for joining us on RANDOM ACTS OF MUSIC. Good night!
I was driving down Johnston Street in Lafayette today when I heard the Barenaked Ladies' song "One Week" playing on radio station KSMB. While listening to the song, I picked up on a couple of references in the track that I'd never noticed before. Before we go any farther, here is--for your reference--the Barenaked Ladies with "One Week."
The first reference I caught was one of Bert Kaempfert. Kaempfert, a German-born jazz musician, composer, and big band leader, wrote such numbers as "Strangers in the Night" and "Danke Schoen," which would become Wayne Newton's signature song. Kaempfert also composed our next song. It's a piece called "A Swingin' Safari," which older television viewers will recognize as the theme song to the original version of "The Match Game" that aired on NBC from 1962 until 1967. Here is Berthold Heinrich Kämpfert and his orchestra with "A Swingin' Safari" on RANDOM ACTS.
Bert Kaempfert and His Orchestra with "A Swingin' Safari."
"One Week" also makes reference to "[busting] rhymes" and being "big like LeAnne Rimes." Although Busta Rhymes isn't explicitly mentioned, the lyric, when rapped, sounds as if the rapper's name got dropped. It also gives me a cheap excuse to play hip-hop and country songs back-to-back. Without further adieu, here are Busta Rhymes and LeAnne Rimes on RAoM.
LeAnne Rimes with her debut single, "Blue," which cracked the Billboard Country Top Ten in 1996. Just before that was Busta Rhymes with his Grammy nominated song "Dangerous," which was released in the fall of 1997 and peaked at #9 on the Billboard Hot 100. Let's see THOSE two get together to perform a duet.
The last musician namedrop that I never caught until today was that of Sting. Not to be confused with the professional wrestler of the same name, Sting, born Gordon Sumner, found a great deal of success after the breakup of the Police. In 1994, he won a Grammy Award for Best Male Pop Vocal Performance with our next track. From the 1993 album Ten Summoner's Tales, here is Sting with "If I Ever Lose My Faith in You" on RANDOM ACTS OF MUSIC.
From 1993, that was Sting with "If I Ever Lose My Faith in You," which topped the Billboard Hot 100 at #17.
That will do it for this week's edition of RANDOM ACTS OF MUSIC. The moral of this week's episode is: Pay attention to the lyrics of the songs you hear on the radio. You may hear something that you never noticed before. Thanks for joining us on RANDOM ACTS OF MUSIC. Good night!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Idiot of the Month Nominee: Guy Steals Car on Test Drive
Yep. That is not a misprint. Dateline: Austin, Texas. A 37-year old man, John Albert Green, and his girlfriend made off with a 1997 Mercedes after asking for a test drive. There was a slight problem, the salesman, Merhdad Mohebi had a copy of Green's driver's license, which was enough to charge Green with felony theft.
(Full story here.)
We should note that Green has not been arrested yet, but if and when he is, he'll have to kick himself for leaving behind a copy of a document that give the police his whereabouts. Our first IotM nominee: John Albert Green.
(Full story here.)
We should note that Green has not been arrested yet, but if and when he is, he'll have to kick himself for leaving behind a copy of a document that give the police his whereabouts. Our first IotM nominee: John Albert Green.
Morning Thoughts
1) I stopped by a convenience store this morning to purchase a scratch-off lottery ticket and a bottle of water before heading to the office this morning. The lady behind the counter wore a badge that read: "Hi! My name is TAAKA." Taaka? Really?! Her mom and/or her dad named her after a brand of vodka? If that's the case, couldn't they have named her after another brand of vodka, like Skyy or Grey Goose, or--even better--after a liqueur, like Tia Maria, Kahlua, or Bailey's?
2) Watched a full episode of WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW last night for the first time in over a year. It was mediocre at best. The wrestling was okay, while the promos looked scripted and contrived. I won't comment on storylines and angles because I've been out of the loop for too long. I'll give it another chance next week, but I think I'll be sticking to archived footage of old-school NWA action in the long term.
3) I'm tired of hearing people complain about the vuvuzelas at the World Cup™. It's a part of the South African soccer tradition, and I hope it becomes a World Cup™ tradition. If you want to get rid of one tradition at sporting events, let's do away with the drunk, obnoxious sports fan.
4) If you have questions or comments, feel free to e-mail shamelessselfproductions@gmail.com. Some of the best ones will be answered in a weekly post called "Mailbag" every Friday.
5) Happy birthday to Olympic-champion speed skater Joey Cheek, who celebrates his 31st birthday today. Joey won gold in the 500-meters and silver in the 1000-meters at the 2006 Turin Olympics. He also won the bronze in the 1000-meters at the 2002 Salt Lake City games. Joey is also an activist, humanitarian, philanthropist, and budding statesman who, as founder of Team Darfur, has raised awareness and funds to stop the crises in the Sudan and whose work with Right to Play has helped teach children in underprivileged areas of the world learn life skills such as teamwork, communication, and integrity, just to name a few, through sports. Joey will be a senior at Princeton University next year, and I had the honor and pleasure of getting to know him during my time there. It is also an honor and a pleasure to call him a friend. Happy birthday, Joey, and best of luck to you in all of your future endeavors!
2) Watched a full episode of WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW last night for the first time in over a year. It was mediocre at best. The wrestling was okay, while the promos looked scripted and contrived. I won't comment on storylines and angles because I've been out of the loop for too long. I'll give it another chance next week, but I think I'll be sticking to archived footage of old-school NWA action in the long term.
3) I'm tired of hearing people complain about the vuvuzelas at the World Cup™. It's a part of the South African soccer tradition, and I hope it becomes a World Cup™ tradition. If you want to get rid of one tradition at sporting events, let's do away with the drunk, obnoxious sports fan.
4) If you have questions or comments, feel free to e-mail shamelessselfproductions@gmail.com. Some of the best ones will be answered in a weekly post called "Mailbag" every Friday.
5) Happy birthday to Olympic-champion speed skater Joey Cheek, who celebrates his 31st birthday today. Joey won gold in the 500-meters and silver in the 1000-meters at the 2006 Turin Olympics. He also won the bronze in the 1000-meters at the 2002 Salt Lake City games. Joey is also an activist, humanitarian, philanthropist, and budding statesman who, as founder of Team Darfur, has raised awareness and funds to stop the crises in the Sudan and whose work with Right to Play has helped teach children in underprivileged areas of the world learn life skills such as teamwork, communication, and integrity, just to name a few, through sports. Joey will be a senior at Princeton University next year, and I had the honor and pleasure of getting to know him during my time there. It is also an honor and a pleasure to call him a friend. Happy birthday, Joey, and best of luck to you in all of your future endeavors!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Louisiana and the Oil Spill: Living on a Prayer?
Louisiana politics is not for the faint of heart. The shenanigans that go on inside of the house that Huey built would make even New Jersey lawmakers laugh. However, the recent actions (or lack thereof) by Louisiana's elected officials have those of us that normally would chuckle shaking our heads in disbelief. Instead of asking for help from the federal government in cleaning up the state's beaches, the state Seante is asking for help from God to end this disaster.
The Louisiana State Senate designated yesterday a statewide day of prayer. The resolution was introduced by Senator Robert Adley (R-Benton), who said in a press release that, "It is clearly time for a miracle for us." Adley is correct. The Gulf Coast region needs an act of God by God himself to fix this mess. However, Adley is incorrect in his assertion that "the efforts made by mortals to try to solve this crisis have been to no avail." At best, the efforts of those mortals to prevent the initial blow-out and clean up the resulting mess have been half-hearted. TransOcean and BP's gross negligence was the result of their desire to save money. The two companies, the leasee and the owner, respectively, failed to implement safety devices and shut-off valves on the Deepwater Horizon because it was not mandated by federal law. BP's use of booms, junk shot, top hats, top kills, and dispersant are no more effective today than they were thirty-one years ago. State officials have not been any more effective in their clean-up efforts. Governor Bobby Jindal has failed to declare a state of emergency and ask President Obama for federal assistance to help clean Louisiana's shores. Instead, Governor Jindal (pardon the pun) drags his feet in the sand and complains about the lack of federal involvement in an attempt to discredit President Obama's administration and to drum up support for the GOP and himself in this Congressional election year (which is also one year away from Louisiana's statewide elections). Simply put, British Petroleum and Bobby Jindal are protecting their bottom lines--BP, its pocketbooks; Jindal, his and his party's chances during the upcoming election seasons.
If a miracle is needed to fix the problem in the Gulf of Mexico, why would God want to give us a "Get out of Jail Free" card? After all, Transocean, Halliburton, and BP could have invested a few hundred thousand dollars in safety mechanisms that, theoretically, could have prevented this disaster from happening. BP could have used some of the millions of dollars it spent on its public relations campaign to speed up the clean-up process and to develop new technologies to clean up oil spills like this one. The Good Lord gave the human race the intelligence and the resources it needs to prevent disasters like this one from happening. Those responsible for disasters like this shouldn't be pleading to a higher power for a bailout when their own laziness results in a tragedy like this.
Senator Adley's resolution and the day of prayer itself were wonderful gestures, as they showed the world that Louisianians are holding out hope for a miracle that will end this disaster. However, the prayers of the faithful do not take oil out of the water or off of the beaches of Louisiana and the rest of the states bordering the Gulf of Mexico. Only BP and the workers on the ground have the ability to do this. Asking God to clean this mess is impractical and irresponsible. To quote Freddie Mercury, "If there is a god in the sky looking down, what can He think of what we've done to the world that He created?"
The Louisiana State Senate designated yesterday a statewide day of prayer. The resolution was introduced by Senator Robert Adley (R-Benton), who said in a press release that, "It is clearly time for a miracle for us." Adley is correct. The Gulf Coast region needs an act of God by God himself to fix this mess. However, Adley is incorrect in his assertion that "the efforts made by mortals to try to solve this crisis have been to no avail." At best, the efforts of those mortals to prevent the initial blow-out and clean up the resulting mess have been half-hearted. TransOcean and BP's gross negligence was the result of their desire to save money. The two companies, the leasee and the owner, respectively, failed to implement safety devices and shut-off valves on the Deepwater Horizon because it was not mandated by federal law. BP's use of booms, junk shot, top hats, top kills, and dispersant are no more effective today than they were thirty-one years ago. State officials have not been any more effective in their clean-up efforts. Governor Bobby Jindal has failed to declare a state of emergency and ask President Obama for federal assistance to help clean Louisiana's shores. Instead, Governor Jindal (pardon the pun) drags his feet in the sand and complains about the lack of federal involvement in an attempt to discredit President Obama's administration and to drum up support for the GOP and himself in this Congressional election year (which is also one year away from Louisiana's statewide elections). Simply put, British Petroleum and Bobby Jindal are protecting their bottom lines--BP, its pocketbooks; Jindal, his and his party's chances during the upcoming election seasons.
If a miracle is needed to fix the problem in the Gulf of Mexico, why would God want to give us a "Get out of Jail Free" card? After all, Transocean, Halliburton, and BP could have invested a few hundred thousand dollars in safety mechanisms that, theoretically, could have prevented this disaster from happening. BP could have used some of the millions of dollars it spent on its public relations campaign to speed up the clean-up process and to develop new technologies to clean up oil spills like this one. The Good Lord gave the human race the intelligence and the resources it needs to prevent disasters like this one from happening. Those responsible for disasters like this shouldn't be pleading to a higher power for a bailout when their own laziness results in a tragedy like this.
Senator Adley's resolution and the day of prayer itself were wonderful gestures, as they showed the world that Louisianians are holding out hope for a miracle that will end this disaster. However, the prayers of the faithful do not take oil out of the water or off of the beaches of Louisiana and the rest of the states bordering the Gulf of Mexico. Only BP and the workers on the ground have the ability to do this. Asking God to clean this mess is impractical and irresponsible. To quote Freddie Mercury, "If there is a god in the sky looking down, what can He think of what we've done to the world that He created?"
Friday, June 18, 2010
IPA'S RETURN FROM EXILE
Eighteen days ago, I walked out of FitzRandolph Gate as a newly-minted graduate of Princeton University. Four years of studying and struggling through an Ivy League institution had finally paid off. In a matter of hours, I would be on an airplane flying back to Louisiana with the most expensive piece of paper I would ever own. I had the world on a string, or, at least I thought I did.
Nearly three weeks later, I've discovered the string through which I held the world had been cut. The luxury of living life at my own pace and on my own terms has disappeared. I'm unemployed and broke, and it doesn't look like this situation is going to change in the immediate future (read: tomorrow or next week). I still have umpiring to fall back on, but making $20 an hour for 20 hours a week isn't going to pay a car note or the rent. For the time being, I'll be living at home and driving my mom's car around Lafayette during the day.
Although I don't have a broadcasting job yet, I will still keep my face in the media. Of course, unsuspecting news directors will be receiving my résumé and demo reel, but while I'm in job limbo, I'll be returning to the Acadiana Open Channel. AOC has a special place in my heart. It's the TV station on which I got my start in media some twelve years ago, and every summer for the last three years, it has given me an outlet to hone my on-air skill while away from the confines of WPRB-FM/Princeton. Again, it doesn't pay, but it keeps me on the air and helps me better my on-air talents. Furthermore, this blog will serve as another outlet. During the course of the coming weeks, I will post my thoughts on news, sports, pop culture, and anything else that tickles my fancy.
This blog will be a combination of the programs I've hosted over the last five years. The news and views of WPRB's THE WEEK IN REVIEW, the sports commentary of TIMEOUT, and the music musings of RANDOM ACTS OF MUSIC (from which this blog's new name was taken), and a potpourri of other topics (124 E. MAIN) will be rolled into one and presented in this forum.
In honor of the relaunch of this blog, here is a clip of another famous debut. It also includes a warning that is apropos for this website.
Nearly three weeks later, I've discovered the string through which I held the world had been cut. The luxury of living life at my own pace and on my own terms has disappeared. I'm unemployed and broke, and it doesn't look like this situation is going to change in the immediate future (read: tomorrow or next week). I still have umpiring to fall back on, but making $20 an hour for 20 hours a week isn't going to pay a car note or the rent. For the time being, I'll be living at home and driving my mom's car around Lafayette during the day.
Although I don't have a broadcasting job yet, I will still keep my face in the media. Of course, unsuspecting news directors will be receiving my résumé and demo reel, but while I'm in job limbo, I'll be returning to the Acadiana Open Channel. AOC has a special place in my heart. It's the TV station on which I got my start in media some twelve years ago, and every summer for the last three years, it has given me an outlet to hone my on-air skill while away from the confines of WPRB-FM/Princeton. Again, it doesn't pay, but it keeps me on the air and helps me better my on-air talents. Furthermore, this blog will serve as another outlet. During the course of the coming weeks, I will post my thoughts on news, sports, pop culture, and anything else that tickles my fancy.
This blog will be a combination of the programs I've hosted over the last five years. The news and views of WPRB's THE WEEK IN REVIEW, the sports commentary of TIMEOUT, and the music musings of RANDOM ACTS OF MUSIC (from which this blog's new name was taken), and a potpourri of other topics (124 E. MAIN) will be rolled into one and presented in this forum.
In honor of the relaunch of this blog, here is a clip of another famous debut. It also includes a warning that is apropos for this website.
Friday, June 13, 2008
TIM RUSSERT DEAD
Damn! First Jim McKay, and now Tim Russert has left us. Russert, host of Meet the Press since December 1991, died earlier today at the NBC News Washington Bureau while recording promos for this Sunday's edition of said program. No cause of death has been announced, but an autopsy is being conducted.
Newscasting and reporting is often thought of as a cutthroat business, but the tributes from the likes of George Stephanopoulos, Bob Schieffer, Charles Gibson, and Dan Rather (whose remarks, if I can find them, I'll repost later) were very moving. Even the politicians Russert grilled on MTP had nothing but kind words to say. Comments from the Clintons, Barack Obama, and John McCain showed the respect they held for Russert and his style of interviewing.
More information can be found at msnbc.com or on the cable network itself. Watching Keith Olbermann trying to maintain his composure during the special report makes you realize how special Tim Russert was.
Newscasting and reporting is often thought of as a cutthroat business, but the tributes from the likes of George Stephanopoulos, Bob Schieffer, Charles Gibson, and Dan Rather (whose remarks, if I can find them, I'll repost later) were very moving. Even the politicians Russert grilled on MTP had nothing but kind words to say. Comments from the Clintons, Barack Obama, and John McCain showed the respect they held for Russert and his style of interviewing.
More information can be found at msnbc.com or on the cable network itself. Watching Keith Olbermann trying to maintain his composure during the special report makes you realize how special Tim Russert was.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Busy Sports News Day . . . and I Missed Most of It
I love umpiring softball, but sometimes it does have its disadvantages. Today was a very sports news day, and I'm just learning about most of it now. Big Brown finished dead last in the Belmont Stakes, forcing horse racing enthusiasts to wait yet another year for a Triple Crown winner. Ana Ivanovic won the women's singles championship at the French Open. In a matter of hours, Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer will face off against each other for the third consecutive year. The most important sports news of the day, though, does not involve an athlete, team, or coach. It, unfortunately, is the news of Jim McKay's death.
For 37 years, McKay spanned the globe to bring us a constant variety of sport on ABC's Wide World of Sports. Though he may be best remembered as the host of WWS broadcasts and twelve Olympic broadcasts (including anchoring the coverage of the 1972 Munich hostage crisis), McKay is--arguably--the most underrated sports broadcaster in television history. Sportscasters, including yours truly, have much to learn from Jim McKay's work. He put the events he covered and their participants at center stage. McKay realized that his job was to present the events he covered to the viewer in the simplest way possible while making them seem as if nothing else in the world were important. Simply put, McKay sold the games and not himself. Too often we see a broadcaster try to become the star of the show while putting the athletics on the back burner. Jim McKay never did this, allowing the athletes and the games they played to shine. In the process, he earned the respect of his peers and colleagues as well as the people that tuned in to watch the programs he anchored.
McKay's life story is too deep for me to cover in this blog. If you can find a copy of his autobiography, The Real McKay: My Wide World of Sports, or catch the HBO documentary about his life and career--Jim McKay: My World in My Words--take a look at them, as they give deep insight not only into his career, but into his personal life and the events that shaped both. Both will give the reader/viewer an even deeper appreciation for how wonderful this man truly was. The world has lost a wonderful broadcaster in Jim McKay, but it lost an even better man in him. May God rest his soul, and may he cover the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat from the broadcast booth in the sky.
Here's a 1970's intro to Wide World of Sports.
This is a clip from 1991 from the 30th anniversary episode of WWS.
For 37 years, McKay spanned the globe to bring us a constant variety of sport on ABC's Wide World of Sports. Though he may be best remembered as the host of WWS broadcasts and twelve Olympic broadcasts (including anchoring the coverage of the 1972 Munich hostage crisis), McKay is--arguably--the most underrated sports broadcaster in television history. Sportscasters, including yours truly, have much to learn from Jim McKay's work. He put the events he covered and their participants at center stage. McKay realized that his job was to present the events he covered to the viewer in the simplest way possible while making them seem as if nothing else in the world were important. Simply put, McKay sold the games and not himself. Too often we see a broadcaster try to become the star of the show while putting the athletics on the back burner. Jim McKay never did this, allowing the athletes and the games they played to shine. In the process, he earned the respect of his peers and colleagues as well as the people that tuned in to watch the programs he anchored.
McKay's life story is too deep for me to cover in this blog. If you can find a copy of his autobiography, The Real McKay: My Wide World of Sports, or catch the HBO documentary about his life and career--Jim McKay: My World in My Words--take a look at them, as they give deep insight not only into his career, but into his personal life and the events that shaped both. Both will give the reader/viewer an even deeper appreciation for how wonderful this man truly was. The world has lost a wonderful broadcaster in Jim McKay, but it lost an even better man in him. May God rest his soul, and may he cover the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat from the broadcast booth in the sky.
Here's a 1970's intro to Wide World of Sports.
This is a clip from 1991 from the 30th anniversary episode of WWS.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Two Nights, Two Ejections
Dear Lord, will beer-leaguers ever learn that cursing out an umpire will never lead to one reversing his/her call? In the last two nights of officiating, I've had to toss two people from games--one a player; the other, a spectator. Both were run for the same reason, cursing and blaspheming an official and his calls.
Tonight's ejection involved a drunk fan. This guy initially joined his team in the dugout as a coach. After my partner asked him to enter the dugout while his team played defense, he left and proceeded to the balcony area of the park. From there, he called to my partner and me after the end of the inning. "Hey, Blue!" he called. From a distance, I could see him shooting us the bird, but I hesitated before doing anything. He then called us again, this time adding, "Fuck you, you motherfuckers!" At this point, both my partner and I ejected the guy and had him escorted out of the park.
Last night's heave-ho aggravated me more than any other ejection that I have had to execute. The first batter in the bottom of the first inning grounded out after taking a first called strike. After being put out, he shouted, "If you don't know the goddamn rules, get off the goddamn field!" In an attempt to keep order on my field and to send a message to both teams, I ejected him. After he refused to leave and kept shouting from the dugout, I delayed the game to have park management escort him out of the park.
The aforementioned player's comments wasn't what angered me. It was the comments of another player from the other team that got under my skin. As an umpire, I know that I can't hold any grudges or any other personal vendettas in mind during any contest, so I must explain now that the following remarks had no bearing on the game at hand. This player--who shall go unnamed--told members of the other team, "This guy is a rookie that does this once a month to pay for his college." Well, sir, this rookie has three years experience, including ten national invitational tournaments, five state championships, one national tournament, and one world tournament. This umpire has survived line drives, errant throws, catchers that couldn't catch, cup checks, and death threats and constantly has worked to improve his game. You, on the other hand, couldn't handle the heat (proverbial and literal) of officiating and quit. Your actions and attitude towards your fellow umpires as a player before, during, and after your service as an official were unbecoming of an umpire and brought shame to yourself and the red shirt that represents your former profession. I thought that someone that supposedly loves the game as much as you do would have more respect for it and the people that work to enforce its rules. Your actions this year and last year (don't think I forgot about having to eject you for throwing dirt on me) have shown that you have proven otherwise.
For you slow-pitch softball players that come across this blog, please remember to be nice to the men in blue, red, green, or whatever color your local umpires might wear. Please know that we are out there because we love the game just as much as you do. Lord knows we aren't out there for the money. We dedicate ourselves to reading the rulebook, going to training clinics, and doing everything else we can to do our jobs better and to make your experience on the field better. We make the calls like we see them, not to give your opponents an advantage. Please keep this in mind before you begin shouting obscenities towards an umpire.
ian
After all of that ranting, I'll leave you with this clip of former Baltimore Orioles manager Earl Weaver getting ejected from a 1983 game. If I might add, this is absolutely NOT how an umpire should conduct himself on the field.
Tonight's ejection involved a drunk fan. This guy initially joined his team in the dugout as a coach. After my partner asked him to enter the dugout while his team played defense, he left and proceeded to the balcony area of the park. From there, he called to my partner and me after the end of the inning. "Hey, Blue!" he called. From a distance, I could see him shooting us the bird, but I hesitated before doing anything. He then called us again, this time adding, "Fuck you, you motherfuckers!" At this point, both my partner and I ejected the guy and had him escorted out of the park.
Last night's heave-ho aggravated me more than any other ejection that I have had to execute. The first batter in the bottom of the first inning grounded out after taking a first called strike. After being put out, he shouted, "If you don't know the goddamn rules, get off the goddamn field!" In an attempt to keep order on my field and to send a message to both teams, I ejected him. After he refused to leave and kept shouting from the dugout, I delayed the game to have park management escort him out of the park.
The aforementioned player's comments wasn't what angered me. It was the comments of another player from the other team that got under my skin. As an umpire, I know that I can't hold any grudges or any other personal vendettas in mind during any contest, so I must explain now that the following remarks had no bearing on the game at hand. This player--who shall go unnamed--told members of the other team, "This guy is a rookie that does this once a month to pay for his college." Well, sir, this rookie has three years experience, including ten national invitational tournaments, five state championships, one national tournament, and one world tournament. This umpire has survived line drives, errant throws, catchers that couldn't catch, cup checks, and death threats and constantly has worked to improve his game. You, on the other hand, couldn't handle the heat (proverbial and literal) of officiating and quit. Your actions and attitude towards your fellow umpires as a player before, during, and after your service as an official were unbecoming of an umpire and brought shame to yourself and the red shirt that represents your former profession. I thought that someone that supposedly loves the game as much as you do would have more respect for it and the people that work to enforce its rules. Your actions this year and last year (don't think I forgot about having to eject you for throwing dirt on me) have shown that you have proven otherwise.
For you slow-pitch softball players that come across this blog, please remember to be nice to the men in blue, red, green, or whatever color your local umpires might wear. Please know that we are out there because we love the game just as much as you do. Lord knows we aren't out there for the money. We dedicate ourselves to reading the rulebook, going to training clinics, and doing everything else we can to do our jobs better and to make your experience on the field better. We make the calls like we see them, not to give your opponents an advantage. Please keep this in mind before you begin shouting obscenities towards an umpire.
ian
After all of that ranting, I'll leave you with this clip of former Baltimore Orioles manager Earl Weaver getting ejected from a 1983 game. If I might add, this is absolutely NOT how an umpire should conduct himself on the field.
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